Monday, November 30, 2015
Tomorrow December comes again. I just read my entry from last year entitled Deciding on December. I read all my last year December days in my journal this morning after writing yesterday's events. When I read those entries I feel so many emotions. This time last year we were letting Leonard go. We had no choice on that of course. We had to let his last days unfold as they would as we had no control over it. I had flown to Meg's, surprising them all to have some pre-Christmas time with my precious granddaughters. I spent Zac's 36th birthday doing important things like meeting Emma at the bus, making gingerbread houses and reading with the girls. The next day I went with Meg and we found her beautiful wedding dress. I came home the day Leonard died and we found our way through that as best we could. Caleb and Ashlie had a severe case of food poisoning which made December a huge challenge for them. We had a simple and special Christmas and as I remember those days I fill with gratitude that we had those moments together. So here we are again deciding on December. The years go flying by. It is so hard to believe that this will be our 17th Christmas without Zac. My heart breaks for Shelley and Noah as they face the first one without Jessica. I know that pain and I hold them in my thoughts and prayers. I also hold on tightly to what I know. I look back to last December and all the Decembers before and celebrate the confidence and the hope that this December will bring the blessings and gifts that all the others did. The challenges are not easy but we will make deliberate choices that will get us through another December.