Sunday, March 28, 2021

The Perils of the Path

 Wood road walking is not for the faint of heart these days. It requires attention, caution and planning. It also requires a good pair of rubber boots and a trusty walking stick.One can not walk with her eyes gazing toward the sky and not take care for the challenges underfoot. The ground is slowly thawing, frost is creating deep holes and streams of water run and pool. Navigating is the key. Choosing a direction, predicting  a best case scenario, taking chances. Walking on a treacherous wood road is very much like living life. This week brought a devastating loss to a family very dear to me. This family has been intertwined with mine for many years. Many hours were spent together and we attempted to find our way through our son's childhood and teenage years together. Many laughs and long talks were shared. Years and life sent us off in different directions and we lost touch but always had the bond created over those  years. This week my friend Cindy died and her  family is reeling from the shock and the deep gulf of grief. No easy way through what they have been given. Strength and resilience will guide and direct them as they must forge ahead. Two precious granddaughters need to be cared for and nutured. Stories of their wonderful grandmother will be shared and they will see a family altered but not defeated by the terrible turn  life has taken. Last night in a jumble of dreams Zac showed up . He was sitting at a table in a room I entered in my mixed up dream and he rose to embrace me and tell me everything would be OK.This morning as I face another day I am so thankful for the tools we have , the boots and walking sticks, the loved ones living and dead that carry us along ,all the things that help get us over the  most difficult sections of this path called life.




 

Monday, March 22, 2021

First Budge Wilson

 It is Monday morning and here I am, happy, grateful ,with a full list and lots of motivation. My bath has been run, I have checked off three items on my Monday morning list and it is coming on to lunchtime. But first before I go any further I will stop and spend some time with Budge Wilson. Budge Wilson passed away  on Friday at age 93. What a treasure on this lovely spring day to sit with Budge and just listen. She talks about six long years of rejections and a teacher named Freda Pike being her motivator and whose words she held on to during rejection and doubt. She then moves on to family dsyfunction and I hang off her wise words. No perfect family. Problems with families when other factors enter the scene. No tidy resolutions. She regards the greatest compliment to her work is someone finding themselves in her books. 'Merciful in their judgements' being one of her writing goals. Oh Budge you will be missed and we are thankful for the body of work you have left behind. Time well spent as I attempt to deal with family , with writing, with  healing and


with living this life I  have been  blessed with.

Monday, March 15, 2021

Weekends , Time Change and Winning

We are a game playing family. It isn't many meals we have that we don't clear the table afterwards and ask which game we're playing. Sunday suppers continue but  have changed over the years and with Covid are reduced to our smaller family bubble. Meg, Cody and the girls have been with us since August , Jenna is now a part of our family circle and Alice joins us every week. On this another Monday morning I find myself reflecting , rallying and regrouping or at least trying to. I woke with today's title in my head. I had a busy night of dreaming that seemed to have me frantically trying to put someone's house in order. Cleaning , purging, rearranging a house that at one point seemd to be my mother in laws and another seemed to be Megan's and then mine.My house in order. Jenna laughed at me Friday as I paniced about the dirt and dog hair I could see billowing on the floor in the late afternoon sun. Taking up my broom as if it were a lifeline,  something  to hang on to to save my life, I swept and took back a smidge of control. Oh boy a therapist could have a field day with me.I have mentioned before how I say " Ok Everyone" out of the blue and my family makes great fun of that. But in writing those words my eyes well up and I don't find it quite as funny. Ok we are Ok, everyone is OK. I looked after the girls all weekend , I prepared and served a Sunday supper, I turned the clocks whichever way they needed to go, except for the one in the kitchen that seems to have a mind of it's own even with a new battery.And I won a couple of games this weekend. Funny how lately I have put the winners in my journal as if it matters at all or will matter in years to come who won Wizard on March 14th,2021.As if my journals will matter in years to come. What matters right now is that we fight the good fight. We use our Mondays to gird our strength  for our Sundays. We play our games and have our time together. We accept change and challenge and play the hand we're dealt. We win and lose with grace and humor. 


Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Things Are Going Swimmingly

 I pondered the title for today's blog entry. I wanted it to have something to do with swimming. I considered Swimming Against the Tide. I really had no desire to blog but as often happens my daughter(aka blog coach)asked for one.The use of aka reminds me of my granddaughter Paige's repeat of one of her 3 positives at every suppertime. She has a couple she repeats and one of them is " I'm sitting beside my wonderful Grampie(aka the keeper of fun )". So perhaps this entry will just be a rambling of sorts. I will begin with swimming. What does going swimmingly even mean? Good question.I love to swim and today my friend Kathy and I went back to the pool. We haven't done our Wednesday thing since November 12th. It felt great to swim again and makes me anxious for the lake. I do not want to rush the seasons though. For now I will walk and snowshoe and enjoy my woods. I am also busy with the first round of edits for The Wright Retreat. I am about half done and really shouldn't linger long on this entry. I love the editing process and am looking forward to re-working the ending which Penelope felt wasn't working. What a gift to have such a caring and intuitive editor  who pushes me to do better. My edits are going swimmingly. Life for the most part on this beautiful March day is going swimmingly. I am thankful and anxious to get back to the ten writers who have gathered at the Wright Retreat. And there is swimming; even skinny dipping ,so all is good.