Let's Sneak in Some Christmas

 We are coming to the end of November. One month from today will be Boxing Day or Sue's day as it's called around here; my birthday. But today as I watch November winding down as I sit here in my office in the quiet, gray morning I look to the day and plan to sneak some Christmas in one room at a time. I told the girls we would start decorating on December 1st. Now this year there will be lots going on on December 1st. Meg, Cody and the girls will move from the lovely little cabin they have been renting all fall and move in here for a month. My wish to have them home this Christmas has come true in big style. I am thrilled about this and hope to enjoy mostly every minute of it. I will attempt to let go of some of my control issues and relax if my house is not completely tidy and clutter free. Memories will be made and it is our intention to make them good ones. Today Emma and I will clean and decorate the den. That will be our first step to getting ready for Christmas 2020. I look forward to sitting this evening in the comforting glow of candlelight, with a rum and eggnog and a grateful heart ready to welcome the season.

Home Again , Home Again

This entry will look at being home  in  two different  ways. Firstly the being home again aspect related to Covid , the orange phase bordering on red and the possibility of complete lockdown again. As I write this I hear my nine year old granddaughter having a discussion on facetime with a friend and the discussion is definitely mainly on the impact of Covid in their present lives. When I walked in the room a few minutes ago she announced she was talking to her friend and that she can't come here like she did a few weeks ago because of the family bubble situation. They know all the lingo and definitely know the restrictions of life right now. They are afraid and worrying about the next few weeks. They will for now anyway keep going to school and diligently wear their masks and maintain their distance. I will stay home and keep my outside interaction very narrow.

I am thrilled to be home. I see these next few days as a gift of place and purpose. I have writing to do, cleaning and preparation for a family focused Christmas and a beautiful bubble with the people I love . I know part of my family will be outside the bubble and probably I'll only have distant and outside interaction but I know they will work hard at staying safe and happy within their own tight circle. I am so thankful for the challenges of making this a very different, special Christmas and know I have within the walls of my home everything I truly need. So today I pray for us all. Stay safe, stay kind, stay put and be thankful!

Zoom , zoom, zoom

 I am basking in the afterglow of last night. Launches are always a nerve racking jumble of activity, bustle and preparation. My wonderful community of family, friends and neighbors have for eight previous launches supported and embraced my efforts. I have so many wonderful memories from the first eight launches. Arriving at the Farmer's market to see an already full parking lot, chocolate chip cookies from Glenda, wonderful introductions, Saint John String Quartet, ice cream sundaes, butter tarts, Oh my God Monkey you look amazing, music played by Robbie and Calvin. So many  treasured  memories. Last night was no exception. In this time of Covid we had an online Zoom event and that itself brought a fair amount of anxiety. I asked my friend and fellow author Gerard Collins to interview me after seeing at Gerard's launch of The Hush Sisters what a nice addition to a launch  it was when Beth Powning so thoughtfully interviewed him. Gerard was wonderful. He asked thought provoking and deeply intuitive questions and in the first few minutes I felt right at ease and had stopped  seeing my face and flaws staring back at me. Friends, family and neighbors showed up and filled the screen in their little boxes. It was wonderful. My publisher Terrilee Bulger introduced me and offered encouragement and support throughout. Acorn's Genevieve Loughlin engineered the evening and made things run smoothly. I was thrilled with the chance to read and respond which of course has always been the joy of every launch. My office was the venue but the reach was vast; Vancouver, Saskatchewan, Montreal, Newfoundland, Halifax, Lunenburg, Fredericton, Lower Coverdale , Grand Lake, Campobello Island ,Hampton, just a few of the places from which people arrived. No one had to travel too far from home to show up and make this author feel supported and encouraged to keep doing what she does. Thank you!

Still Plodding Through November

 I wrote my last entry on November 2nd when the month was barely through the gate.  Yesterday my blog coach gently nudged me to write an entry but I was working to finish up the first round of edits for Skyward  that I'd given myself two weeks to complete. I was able to finish and send the edits back yesterday afternoon, three days before schedule. I am pleased with my efforts. I so appreciate the work my editor does to make me a better writer. The challenges she gave me seemed a bit overwhelming initially but as she stated in her notes I did already know the answers to all her queries when I dug a little deeper. The key is of course to make sure the reader knows it all, in good time , in a carefully crafted and deliberate way. I love that side of editing and am so glad for the care and attention my editor gives my work. When I thank Penelope Jackson in my acknowledgments please understand just how much I have to thank her for. Now on to round two and getting closer to the finish line and the actual book. So November continues. Today is a beautiful, sunny ,crisp day. I just had a Zoom practice call with author Gerard Collins and Acorn publicist Genevieve Loughlin. Oh boy technology is fun. Who doesn't love seeing their own face constantly on the screen? I am going to try to get over my self loathing as I engage in tomorrow night's Zoom launch of When the Hill Came Down. Gerard is going to interview me and I look forward to that. Yesterday I had an amazing wood road walk even though it was wet and muddy. It culminated in the sighting of a beautiful vibrant rainbow visible just as I began my descent . I took the time to take its beauty in and appreciate the gift spreading across the sky. What better way to celebrate having just completed the beginning edits on my novel entitled Skyward. Even in this bleak November remember to look to the sky, take in and be grateful for all the blessings, all the challenges and  all the gifts this life has to offer. 

Weary, Wonderful November

I am in my office this morning. A part of me would rather have headed back to bed , covered up and slept the morning away. I do feel weary. A good weary though. Weary with well doing. Maybe. I have been doing. Yesterday the day was spent in my pantry . Baked beans, Brown bread rolls and a large pot of aromatic, thick and deep yellow mustard pickles. Nine people sat at our table and enjoyed a Sunday supper meal while the November sky darkened early and the  rain fell and the wind blew outside. The leaves have pretty much all fallen to the ground. On yesterday's wood road walk a thick and colorful cover was the path beneath my feet. I felt the cooler air and the feel of November. I love the familiar feel of November. Thirty years ago I was awaiting the birth of my fourth child. November always brings the sadness and poignancy of Remembrance Day , a day of importance in a family with military connection and service. I feel the promise of first snow and deepening cold. I feel the comfort of wood heat and comfort food. I feel the tug of Christmas. Meg , Cody and the girls will move in with us for the month of December and I have told the girls we will begin trimming for Christmas on December first. What a different and wonderful December this will be. In my weariness I must remind myself to be truly thankful for the extra mouths I get to feed. A season of our lives to be savored and enjoyed . This morning I told Burton how weary I was and that I would like to go back in time. First I said 1985, than 1971, and then 1963. 1985, a new baby , 1971, Grade nine,1963 assassination of JFK. Each November ,each year and season brought challenges, difficulties, joys and sorrows of it's own. Weariness and wonder. Another year, another November, another stage and chapter in my life. 

RIP Richard

 I sadly acknowledge the passing of Richard Vaughan and extend my condolences to his family, friends, colleagues, readers , the city of Fredericton, the UNB community and to each and every one of us. His passing has taken something from us all. Every person who searched for him, prayed for him , heard updates on his disappearance, each first responder and whoever found his body have been impacted by his loss. One man's influence and the reach of his words , his passions, his life has a sad and tragic ending. He is no more in a physical sense and many will mourn. We all should mourn a life too soon over . I did not know Richard but it is a smiling photo that I see in my mind's eye as I write this. His work will live on. And the rest of us carry on . For now we are given another day. This day , a Sunday in late October which offers us gifts for the taking. Of course into this day we carry concerns and heartaches but the day is ours to do what we will. For me I will savor the seasonal gifts of fall colors before the trees are stripped bare for winter. I will cook my mother's famous mustard pickles and will pickle beets. I will enjoy whatever grandchildren walk through my door. I will prepare a family supper and welcome whoever gathers round our table. I will anticipate tomorrow's writing with a zeal for getting back to Jasper's Road. Yesterday I began rereading Ten Thousand Truths and was reminded of what it was that made Amelia so special

, so effective and so meaningful in the lives she touched. Food, tradition, place, purpose , acceptance , love and dedication. I fall short. I make mistakes but I put my feet on the floor everyday and keep trying. I am thankful for this another day and for my place and purpose. 

It is Not All About Me

 I feel a heaviness this morning that has been building for quite some time. I use the same tools daily to shake this heaviness but still it keeps mounting. I make my grateful list and it is extensive . I take my wood road walks and they are a gift. I  try my best to see my glass half full and most days I can. But what about the days I want to smash my glass against a wall and scream . Or the days I want to hide,  to walk or run away from all the worry and heartache. What about those days when I can't get out of my own way. A missing writer in Fredericton  is on my mind. I don't know him but hear all the worry and concern in the voices of those who do. Where is he and is he OK? Has he succumbed to the heaviness? I feel the sadness of the first year anniversary of loosing Dad and Gladys. I feel the strain and stress of family tension and I want that heaviness to lift. I want to feel hope , optimism, joy and see joy and hope in the people around me. I believe this is a stressful time for so many. We are caught up in the drama and frightening happenings south of the border and lots of concerning situations in our own country. We are daily reminded of the pandemic and all the changes and challenges that brings. I was reluctant to write this entry this morning , reluctant to admit to my present state of mind. I do know it is not all about me. I know all the things I know and still struggle to pull myself out of the funk I feel. The sun shines bright and I know there are better days ahead. I know things could be so much worse and this too shall pass. I know feeling sorry for myself doesn't help one little bit. Complaining and whining doesn't help at all. I know all this and I know sometimes just putting the words down helps  a bit. I want the heaviness to lift for more than just me.