The Stuff of Dreams

January is often a month for re-evaluating. Resolutions often speak loudly to the desire to change,to improve and to take charge. One of the changes that sometimes pops up after the acquisition of things brought on by the gift giving season involves de-cluttering . Yesterday, before I went for my woods road walk I heard a discussion on CBC's Tapestry about 'stuff'. It got me to thinking and of course that thinking continued as I walked. Burton constantly jokes (he thinks it's very funny) about how much he will get for certain objects in our home when I'm gone and he has the yard sale. The woman presenting her theories about our obsession with possessions commented that acquiring stuff has it's stages. We start out with very little and concentrate on accumulating things. Then at a point in our lives we start to de-value our things and begin to get rid of stuff. I watched my parents do that a few years ago. In the process of getting rid of their home they let possessions go until they packed the most important things and moved into a much smaller space. From their life of accumulated possessions I took very little. Perhaps one of the most treasured of the handful of things I took was Mom's clothespin basket. I do look around at my stuff and despite my husband's comments I realize there are things I could let go. Some of my possessions mean more to me than others and the monetary value attached has very little to do with it. Thoughts about the stuff we surround ourselves with led me to thinking about the stuff of dreams. I have a little bag hanging on the doorknob of my office. The small panel on the bag has a star and the word DREAM stitched on the fabric. A dear friend gave me this bag. It is a possession I value because of what it says to me every time I look at it. I live my dream every time I enter this room and sit down to write. The stuff of dreams and the following of those dreams fills our lives with more meaning than any amount of possessions will ever be able to give us.

On a Cold Winter's Day

We just finished a very cold week. It is January after all but the bitter cold made my wood road walks challenging. Yesterday, however after Friday's snowfall and rising temperatures my walk was wonderful. I don't mind winter at all really. I love the contrast, the rest from garden and lawn chores and the enjoyable heat created by our wood burning cookstove and furnace. It is labour intensive and as Burton pointed out yesterday I have been very pampered since he retired last year. He definitely keeps the home fires burning. Today, I will spend my time in my sunny office enjoying another day of writing. Burton has gone to a cribbage tournament so I will have to attend to the fires. I will take another opportunity to walk the snowcovered trails that he broke out with the tractor yesterday morning, so that I can make my way all the way to the top of the hill.I will prepare a Sunday night meal for family. I will take this winter's day and enjoy it for what it has to offer.

Accepting the Gift Horse

On my walk two days ago amid the jumble of thoughts in my brain I somehow landed on the saying 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.' I thought about what that saying means , where it originated and what it was saying to me at that moment. As I worked through all of that I thought about the frequency sayings like that pop up in our everyday conversation. As a writer I sometimes struggle with a tendency to overuse clichés or figures of speech when they creep into my writing. I understand the folly of overuse but at the same time believe that there is wisdom in so many of those sayings. I think it behooves us(now there's a word that deserves to be used more)to see figures of speech and common sayings for the important grains of truth they hold. These saying came from experiences and observations of life that can still assist us as we live through our present day challenges. If someone gives you a horse for free you shouldn't look in it's mouth and criticize the gift if some teeth are missing or the teeth show you it's an old hag with not much good left in it. So what bit of wisdom did I take from that as I walked along my beloved therapy trail? To me the gift horse is where I find myself at the present moment. I might have asked for a different horse , a younger horse with stronger traits and a more impressive bloodline. But the horse I've been given is a gift and I could be without a horse of any kind. Even as I write this I realize there might be those who wonder what the heck I'm talking about but at the time the message was very clear to me. Where I am right now in my life would not be where I would choose if I was asking for a perfect life and expecting that the perfect life I ask for is what I deserve. The life I have is full of sorrow and worry and concern and heartbreak but also so full of joy and hope and potential. The gift horse is not always what it appears at first inspection. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth , accept the gift horse and ride that horse to the best of your ability.

A New Window

2014 is almost over. In two more days we will greet the new year. Through a new window we look ahead and through the old window we look behind at the year that is ending. I will not take the time to list or sift through all that happened in the last year. I will as I regularly do read back in my journal and put the days and months in perspective. I will also think ahead to what I expect the coming days and months to bring. I will prepare for some of the events ahead and believe that the things I look forward to will come to be. We have a wedding to celebrate, a book to launch and a book week tour to do. I hope these things become real experiences that I can document in my 2015 journal. I don't know of course what challenges or difficulties will be interspersed that could quickly change the events I have mapped out for the months ahead. I say this not with fear , worry or trepidation, just with a knowledge of how life has a way of unfolding in a manner we don't always predict. The new window offers a vast array of opportunity and each day will come with possibility and blessings and hopefully the strength we require. So on to whatever 2015 brings.

Look For the Light

This morning I got up earlier than usual. I got up before first light because my trusty furnace keeper was on a mission to deliver turkeys and chickens and stayed in Moncton all night. The house wasn't cold but I decided that I should start the furnace before it got cold. Usually with Burton's attentive patrol the fire seldom gets down to coals. I am spoiled in that way since he retired. The early rising gave me the gift of sparkling light. There is something about twinkling Christmas lights in the early morning that touches my soul. The lights give me a feeling of peace, hope and anticipation. Just like the excitement of Christmas morning taking time in the early morning to just enjoy what lies ahead is a wonderful thing. Today I will make scotch cookies for Caleb and Ashlie to take to Chester. I do wish they were staying home with us just as I wish Meg, Cody and the girls were coming but I understand they are where they need to be. I will enjoy my quiet Christmas knowing that if I am blessed with more Christmases in the future, they will be filled with years when we have everyone together, when we will welcome more grandchildren and our numbers will swell. Christmases past , present and future are what I celebrate in this early morning light. I look into the light and see it all and let my heart rejoice.

What a Day!

What a glorious day! The sun is shining brightly. There is just enough snow to cover the ground and trees and it looks absolutely beautiful. My home is warm and comfortable. Christmas lights are twinkling on the tree, on the railing and in the windows. Treasured decorations are on display. Gifts are all wrapped and waiting to be delivered to our loved ones. I am getting ready to whip up a batch of my mother's Scotch cookies. I may even need to do a few mocha cakes to make the season complete. I have a thankful heart for all the Christmases that have come before this one. My Mom and Dad certainly went all out to create wonderful Christmases for us when we were kids and many of those traditions came into our home as we raised our four children. I am also feeling peace today and taking deep breaths to truly appreciate the gifts of this day. I talked to my daughter for a few minutes this morning and even though she is so far away I feel such happiness when I hear of her little family enjoying and tackling the approach of Christmas 2014. Her new home is decked out with Christmas lights that I will not see but take comfort in knowing they shine where she is. Too sentimental? I don't think so. This is a day and a season to be sentimental and I embrace it all. My parents are in Florida doing their Christmas things in the sun amongst new found friends instead of family but I am so happy that they are able to do that. They will always remain a part of my Christmas. Later I will spend time with my friend Marlene in her new home. I will help her wrap, even though her wrapping standards are stricter than mine. I remember how the simple gifts we gave each other as kids meant so much to us; a sweater with puffy sleeves, three bags of ketchup chips. We will have supper together using the China Wok gift certificate I gave her last year with her Christmas present. How quickly the years go and how valuable our time together is.

Let Your Heart be Full

Step back and take a deep breath. Check on your well being and the well being of those you love. Do the things that fill you and let the rest of it go. Take solace in knowing that you did the best you could do and move on from here. These are the things reverberating in my muddled brain this morning. I feel somewhat like a wet dishcloth. The twinkling lights on the greenery on my upstairs railing offer me a quiet and soothing look at the beauty of this time of year. I take great comfort in the continuity of the decorations I pull out every year. They stay the same in the constant change of everything else. This morning I will join my friends in a group we call the 82 Moms(we all had babies in 1982)for a Christmas buffet at the Rothesay Golf and Country club. These girls have been a constant in the last few years. We meet once a month and as the months fly by and as we all meet challenges and greet joys in our lives we listen and support each other. What a gift this has been. So this will be how I tackle today; spend time in the company of friends, absorb some beautiful Christmas decorations, eat some tasty food and let my heart fill up from the somewhat limp and depleted state it currently finds itself in.