On This Another Sunday

I do not have the time or the energy to give this day its due in this entry but feel the need to be at my keyboard. We will participate in a visitation this afternoon, a daunting task ahead , but a task of love and loyalty and one I still value despite changing views concerning the traditions surrounding the death of a loved one. The two days we spent receiving people when Zac died were exhausting and excruciating but remain a treasure in my heart. Today is Mom's day and I will take the time to process all that follows in some other blog entry. So on this Sunday morning I will focus on the hours ahead and rely on the support of family,friends and strangers all of whom will gather to pay tribute to the life of Iva Bradley.

Heated Floors, Warm Covers and Socks

September has almost come to an end. The evenings and mornings are cool bordering on cold. This morning when I got up I turned on the heated floor in the bathroom which had been turned off during the hot summer months. What a joy to feel the heat on my bare feet. Making the transition from Summer to Fall is such a blessing. Burton and I talked this morning about the task he has ahead of him to fill the far wall and corner of our basement with firewood. Another season of warmth and blessing. It is time to add another blanket to the bed and enjoy nights under warm covers. Most of the summer sleeping involved trying to stay cool and now we look for the opposite.Thanksgiving approaches and hopefully our traditional trek to Kings Landing will take place. Saturday night we welcomed a good sized crowd to our annual corn boil. We laughed and ate and celebrated Burton's 65th birthday. His cousin brought him a Happy Birthday 5 Year old and inserted x 13 to make it fit the occasion. He also got a Happy 40 year old card with the added remark" with 25 years experience. We have experience, we have had many seasons and much to reflect upon. We have been blessed with children and grandchildren, family and friends.We have fulfilled dreams and aspirations and continue to dream and aspire.We have the blessing of a comfortable home and a safe and supportive community. We have food to eat and clean water to drink.We can don sweaters and hoodies , long pants and socks. This advent of fall is also carrying the final days of decline for my beloved mother. Her days are winding down and I pray for comfort, for grace and for the strength we need to face what lies ahead for our family.Today with my mother in my heart I will clean my home bottom to top taking each room and each task as the blessing it truly is. I will also hold in my thoughts the hundreds of people facing the destruction of the tornado that descended on Ottawa. How quickly the life we take for granted can change can be uprooted and forever altered. So relish the ordinary day , the predictable change of the seasons and the tedious tasks of our lives. There is such blessing in the day by day of the life we have given.

Invited to the 'Bookquet'

Last night I was welcomed into Kim's family room and into a circle of ladies called the Bookquet of Friends book club. They have been gathering as a book club for 17 years so have probably read approximately 170 books. Last night they gathered to discuss Maple Sugar Pie by Susan White. What a thrill for this author. I have in the past seen posts from authors who have had negative experiences when asked to visit a book club. Some have been bombarded with criticism , confrontation and condemnation. So far this has not been my experience when asked to participate in book club discussions. Last night the descriptors I would use would be generous, curious, insightful and supportive. A meaningful discussion of character, plot and personal experiences unfolded in a natural way and I came away richer for it. The room held a plethora of family stories and generational wisdom. I particularly loved the story Anne told of the uncle who when chastised by his wife for not removing his muddy boots before entering their house chose to move down the road to his brother's house where he could do whatever he pleased. Tell me that shouldn't find its way into a book some day.So this morning I find myself back at my desk which is one of my favorite places to be. By the way with the feel of the temperature last night and this morning I believe my lake swims are over for another season and I am sorry I didn't make more of my last swim. As wonderful as it was I did not give the lake the attention it was due . I can only hope for another season to come.So back to work and back to the great privilege of finding the words , sentences, chapters and the story that awaits. Nights like last night fuel that process and make me anxious to get to it. Thank you Kim, Anne, Nancy, Denise, Kelly, Karen , Monica, Jennifer, Gail, Christine, and Andrea.

When Cousins are Friends

Monday night Burton and I went to Moncton to have supper with some of my Wetmore cousins.My Mom was a Wetmore; Iva Mae Wetmore which precipitated much teasing in her younger years.Mom had one brother Elmer and three sisters, Beulah, Luella and Lois.Three of Beulah's kids, one of Luella's , two of Lois' and two of Iva's kids attended. Dad was the only representative of his generation. It was a great evening of catching up , sharing memories , eating and laughing which of course is what makes up every good get-together. Yesterday my three cousins from Ontario( Buelah's kids ) drove to Saint John to visit Mom in the nursing home. She lit up in their presence.Her face held a perpetual grin and even without speech it was clear she was enjoying their visit. Many years have passed since Mom held David who was the first nephew born and always the special boy. Mom held him in high esteem referencing the fact that she was 15 when he was born. Ivoo was the name he attached to her. To to sit with a ninety year old Ivoo and her precious seventy some year old nephew was magic. The bond of family, of aunts, uncles and cousins is a strong and priceless bond. On my drive home I thought a lot about cousins. If we are lucky enough to grow up with cousins close by or at least have a yearly connection, we have friends for life. These Ontario cousins of mine have not been a part of my adult life but the memories of earlier days and the strong thread our mothers tied us together with over the years keeps us connected. Only two of the four sisters are still with us and both have been distanced from us with cognitive impairment. But the love remains. The flicker of recognition, the twinkle of joy , the stamp of years of caring and attention is clearly visible.David told Mom " You always called me on my birthday " several times during the visit.I have a range of connection to my cousins ( 13 first cousins). There are a couple of them I keep in contact with regularly. I know their kids and grand kids , their dogs and cats.One I often run into at Costco,some I keep in touch with by e-mail or Facebook, a couple I see every few years,some I have not seen for a long time ,possibly only at family funerals and wouldn't know if I fell over them. But even within that range of relationship lies the bond of being cousins. I picked up an old book of mine that Emma was reading this summer and the inscription said my cousins Greg and Wayne gave it to me Christmas of 1968.I know Mom and her sisters tried hard to pass on the closeness they had for each other to their kids, hoping that the cousins stayed connected. I now see my son and daughter and watch their kids fostering the cousin relationships and hope those relationships grow and flourish. I think of Burton and Louisa's kids and the strong bond they have.I have heard it said 'You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family'. Cousins happen upon us and we can choose to embrace that ready made relationship or not. Distance , time and circumstance sometimes keeps us apart but the bond remains. Happy birthday today to my cousin Larry who is a cousin on Dad's side. Our closeness as kids faded and we lived our lives far apart but the last few years we have become aware of just how strong the bond between us remains. Larry , and son,his wife and her son have sat at our table twice in the last few years and I am thankful for that time together. We have held each other up with encouragement and caring.We walk different paths but the path we started on together remains." You always called me on my birthday" seems like a small thing but in fact makes all the difference.

Off to the Fair

Another Monday morning and another moment to reflect, take stock and be thankful. September is a month of beauty , of change, of harvest and so much more. One of our September traditions when the kids were young was a trip to the Gagetown Fair.The country fair of livestock, horses, tractors, produce, baking and handcrafts, rides and fairground food has basically stayed unchanged and holds the same attraction it did years ago. This year Burton and I and our friend Alice had a beautiful drive up crossing at the Evandale ferry and winding our way up the scenic river road. We thought of the low lying areas thinking of how May's flood had impacted them. We drove by busy apple stands and orchards and upon arrival joined the crowd of fair goers milling about . We watched the Ox pull competition marveling at the strength of the massive animals and the skill of the teamsters.We greeted Chapin, Bri , Jac and the kids taking great pleasure in another generation's enjoyment of this country fair. Anthony celebrated his birthday with two friends as they ran from ride to ride .We watched the little kids smiling ear to ear while on their rides. Alice and I walked past baking and crafts exhibits. I remember as a young bride and mother feeling challenged by similar exhibits. Yesterday I felt at a different stage , 'a been there done that' stage which definitely carried over when we viewed the school exhibits. I remember years ago getting art ideas and Language Arts project ideas when I looked at the student's work. Now I look at the kid's work more as a grandmother . Funny how the fair has stayed the same and I have changed . One thing that hasn't changed is my desire to leave with a candy apple. Bites into the hard red candy covering the juicy apple tasted and felt just like it always did. I love that my son and his wife are now the parents taking kids by the hand and walking through the gates of the Gagetown Fair. A simple country fair stills holds an afternoon of family fun and excitement. Oh how things change and stay the same.

When the Time is Right

Best laid plans are just that. Life has a way of reminding us of this and the lessons of patience and trust are constantly being delivered. I am a list maker, a goal setter and a bit of a worrier. ( the bit part might be not quite strong enough) I am learning but very,very slowly that worrying does not change the outcome of much. A big worry of the last few weeks has been my Mom's health , my Dad's ability to keep caring for her, a nursing home placement and a stay in the hospital which was needed to hydrate her, manage an infection and address other concerns.Today she left the hospital and moved in to her room at the St. John St . Stephen nursing home. A page has been turned in her story and as so much else we face it didn't turn exactly how we envisioned it. Dad has been given some days to come to terms with the change and now we will put our attention into making it the best home for Mom at this time.Mom's hospital stay gave me something I didn't expect. I have spent so much time in the last two weeks staring into my mother's eyes and watching the hands that so lovingly cared for me. She is still in there and I treasure the time I have spent feeding her and holding her hands. I have done all the talking but when she turns her head toward me and stares into my eyes I know she sees me and loves me as deeply as she ever did.Today I took my 75th swim of the season and let the waters of my beloved lake envelop me and remind me of my place under the vast sky.I float and look to that sky knowing the truth of my insignificance and my inability to alter a plan much bigger than any list I could ever write.I give thanks for the assurance that in all things I can look to a higher power who keeps the water flowing , the sun shining and the stars in the sky.

September has Arrived

The air has a slight coolness, the days are getting shorter and school starts on Tuesday. September has arrived. I love September. It used to and still does hold an excitement and an expectant feeling of change and challenge. I sit this morning and reflect on the summer days that have passed. What a beautiful summer it was . So much sun, swimming, grandchildren enjoying, road trip adventures, family time and good food. But as much as I hate to see the end of all that and dread giving up my lake I am so looking forward to the coming season. We have challenges to face with Mom's health and declining abilities. We hope to see her settled into a nursing home and hope to assist Dad in facing his new normal without his wife of seventy years near his side. We have three family birthdays to celebrate and a granddaughter to watch as she begins kindergarten. I look forward to the after school bus time to see three of my grandchildren get off the bus and hear about their days. Burton will get back to the woods and I will be back at my desk. I look forward to beginning book number twelve and start work on the edits of book number eight. I anticipate a trip to Italy in October. I will have school visits, book signings and WFNB's WordsFall. I will continue market Saturdays and meet new and loyal readers. I will make enough of my mother's beloved mustard pickles to get four households through the winter.I will think ahead to Christmas with the anticipation of Chapin and Bri's house bursting with excitement. I will write my weekly letters linking my far away granddaughters to the comings and goings on the Walton Lake Road.I remember my mat leave of 1985. Labor Day weekend brought the birth of our third child and when I brought my baby home I began a beautiful fall of caring for my precious family within the walls of our trailer our big house not yet started but being dreamt about. Dreams that become reality are the hope of every season and I think about the season ahead while being very thankful for the one that is about to end. A few more lake swims, a few more days of hot sun and summer breezes will slowly give way to a kaleidoscope of leaves, wood road walks,first lighting of the furnace and Fall welcoming Winter.