Monday, April 6, 2020

I Get to Stay Home

There is so much talk these days about staying home. Funny songs abound with the message to stay the F at home. Celebrities and government officials keep preaching the message and many people are listening. I wake each morning and say to Burton 'I get to stay home today'.Staying home has always been a huge attraction for me. Sometimes when I am away from home, in my anxiety I envision my home room by room ,imagining myself back there.I recall in the early days of managing the huge challenge of grief the phrase "I just want to go home ' was a mantra that often came to my jumbled mind. Sometimes I would be standing in my kitchen and the words " I just want to go home"would escape from my mouth.Stepping back from that I could clearly see that what I was really saying was I needed to go to a place of safety, comfort and familiarity. Home; a place to be myself, to regroup and replenish, a place to get my strength back.I travel room by room allowing the home we've created to receive me and shelter me from the world outside. Yesterday we had friends arrive for eggs and chickens. I stood at the open skylight window and Denise stood in the yard. Burton and Gig stood a good distance from one another in the yard. Our friends left our yard and went back to their home. Burton said" that was a good visit'.I walked down to Chapin and Bri's and stood looking in their dining room window and waved to the kids. I loved seeing them at their table, having their supper meal together. I returned to my home and cooked our supper. I am so very grateful for my home. I travel from room to room taking in my surrounding and know just how blessed I am. This morning the sun streams through my office window , another Monday to write and another day that I get to stay home.I too have the stress and worry of the current crisis heavy on my mind and heart but all I am being asked to do today is to stay home. I can do that. I carry the picture of my grand kids being cared for and sheltered in a loving, nurturing home. I talk to my daughter on the phone and take comfort knowing the same.Right now Burton and I are both well and this day at home is the gift we have been given.The stay at home songs are entertaining but they are singing to the choir so to speak.

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