Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Just Saw my Son

 I took a break from work to go for a walk on this gorgeous afternoon. I walked a couple of blocks to where my boys are working on the Wentworth complex. I scanned the windows looking for them. I was pretty sure I spotted my youngest son so walked back and forth on the sidewalk across the street waiting for another sighting. When I'm sure it's him I stop  and  stare up at the window hoping he will look out. He spots me and gives me a big smile and a wave. My heart fills and I walk away with the joy of the sighting. My work in progress is a story of a mother whose son goes missing and she lives her remaining twenty some years never knowing where he is or what has happened to him. I caught sight of my son for seconds and the happiness I felt speaks loudly to the depth of a mother's love . I get back to a text from my daughter saying she will come for supper and a movie date. How full this mother's heart is. I hold each one of my four children  in my heart and treasure each sighting even when the sighting of one can only be photographs, dreams or memories. Now back to work!



Monday, August 30, 2021

When the Teachers go Back

 I feel this day even though this is the  twelfth  year I have not had to go back. But on this day I feel the end of  August sadness , excitement , challenge and pressure. I remember the marathon of meetings, the creativeness of classroom set up, the catch up  with colleagues, the changes and the giving up of summer. For eleven years I returned to writing on the day the teachers went back and was so happy to do so. This year my summer routine changed drastically and I have been at my desk in July and August but still feel the importance of this day to get myself back to some serious work. I have one ms a third done and have just begun another. I must settle myself today to concentrate on one or the other and possibly taking the time to blog this morning is my way of avoiding this decision. Or maybe it will help me arrive at the decision and I will follow up with some new words being written and a direction being cemented. Going back is on my mind for other reasons and the next few weeks and months will navigate that as well. But for this day August 30, 2021 as teachers go back and a new school year is planned and navigated I will take comfort in exactly where I am. I will stand proud of my past , my present and look with hope to the future. I will relish the words written in the last twelve years and the words yet to write. I will hold all teachers and especially Brianne and Jenna in my thoughts  and remember what it is they are feeling on this day. I will be thankful for the years I was right there with them and thankful for the years since. I will be thankful for the books I read to my students and the books I've written that are in classrooms and in  the hands of today's teachers. I will settle down to write and look forward to some author visits that will take me back  into schools as an author. How very lucky I am !


Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Out My Small Window

 I love summer. I also love the fall, winter and spring. Seasons are such a gift and carry us year after year. Last night on my city street walk I felt the tug of the next season in the gentle cool breeze. As stated earlier this season is very different and I am daily adjusting, processing and settling myself to my present situation. But in reality of course that is always the case. Life is not a stagnant experience but a constant state of flux. We know not what will come at us next. This morning I look out my small window and it is another day of overcast, misty skies. I have to get to a brand new work only a few paragraphs in and that is both exciting and frightening.  Yesterday I finished the read through of the designers draft of The Wright Retreat and feel the excitement of its final stretch toward publication. A new small window of opportunity is what each season provides. I will embrace the days left of summer, the lake swims I will get , the warm sun and colorful flowers. I will figure out the path I'm on and work toward a healthy road back. The zigs and zags and obstacles are the unknown but the tools I have are there whichever season and whatever comes along.  I will keep my tool box full, pay attention to what  I put in and what I take out. This is the day I will face and for that I am grateful!


Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Finding Me

 Amid preparation for tomorrow's launch; you know picking an outfit, deciding on glasses vs no glasses, choosing and practicing a reading and settling on what  will be seen in the background I feel the need to write a blog entry. I also feel the desire to start a brand new book from a blank page with only a snippet of an idea but that will wait for another day. Earlier I went out to attend to some errands; vehicle registration, purchase lipstick for my non existent lips , return library books, buy fruit and one cob of corn. On my walk back I felt  excitement and  elation and it occurred to me it felt like when I was a kid or at least a young adult embarking on an adventure. It felt so good. It felt like I had found me. Now some might say I ran away from home, perhaps they would say I left my marriage, some might think I left my kids and grand kids. Others might marvel that I left the home , the farm , the lake and the life I love. There is a shred of truth in all of that perhaps but I would argue that instead of leaving anything I ran toward something and that something or someone is me. I ran to where I find myself right now to find myself. To some that might sound dramatic but I don't particularly care what it sounds like. For now all I care about is what it feels like. I am hurting no one, abandoning or betraying no-one . I am taking care of me.