Tractor Rides, Aunts and Biscuit

Our girls are here. This is the summer when they are six and three and who they are right now will not be repeated. This is Emma's fourth summer and Paige's second summer .Em comes with missing teeth and a lot longer legs than last year. She still has her strong will and sometimes peculiar fashion sense and she is actually a bit more helpful this year. Paige comes quite independent often declaring 'I can do it myself' with attitude. She is fearless on the monkey bars and can pump herself high into the sky on the swing. She roams outside like a country girl and follows Grampie everywhere. They did some calculating this morning, figuring out how old they will be next year and the year after and how old they were last year and so on. It is activities like that that fill our days. It is the little moments that blend together to make the big and lasting memories of being together. Last night Emma was getting up to wash her hands after supper and slipped in behind her Grampie's chair to go to the laundry room. As we stood at the sink she said " I love Toad . He said 'Can you get by little Toad?" No major thing , just the building blocks of a major relationship that will carry them both throughout the years. This morning the girls were thrilled as our timid and standoffish Biscuit who rarely comes into the main part of the house and who has never gone all way to the top floor, followed them right upstairs . They were so excited to have him join them. Monkey could have managed her bath without both girls and Biscuit beside the tub but privacy is for another time. Paige ran to meet Grampie as he came out of the woods and she hitched a ride to where he unloaded the twitch of wood. She chastised him for not wearing his seatbelt. He assured her it was all right not to wear it in the tractor. Then the girls headed to town with their aunts. They adore Aunt Brianne and Aunt Ashlie. Their excitement each time they get to spend time with their aunts and uncles makes the visit extra special. These girls are growing so fast. We will throw in trips to the beach, family outings and a huge family vacation to PEI but this visit is about the kind of things I have mentioned. It is in these moments that it becomes so clear just how very important building the lasting relationships with the ones we love really is. So again, we enjoy the time we have with our girls doing the simple things that come about just by being together.

Never Enough Thyme

Thyme I seem to be able to do without but time I could use more of. I do have the wonderful stretch of a new day each morning and for that I am truly grateful. But where does the time go? Mid July used to make me nervous because summer was passing so quickly. My friend Kathy, who is still teaching, does not like to be reminded of that. My week is going quickly as I try squeeze as much into the hours I have left before I go to get my granddaughters. I am very excited for them to be here. Summer would not be summer these years without their visits and I will love every minute. But my time and my routine will be very different while they are here and my productivity will diminish. Today I tackle a few more garden tasks that will leave the garden in good form for the neglect it is likely to get when the girls are here. I do expect them to be a little bit more self sufficient this year but I know Monkey and Toad will be kept busy. The memories we make in these weeks can not be measured and a few weeds in the garden is a small price to pay for the pleasure of seeing them , hearing them and having them with us on the farm. This is the time that matters!

Making Hay While the Sun Shines

It is summer. I finally felt it for sure yesterday as it was my first two swim day. Maybe today will be a three swim day if I get away from my computer and out to the garden . Yesterday we also ate Sunday supper outside and until the bugs got too bad, had a fun game of bocce ball. Another sign of summer was the load of hay that the boys brought up the driveway Saturday afternoon. That was a real big deal for us. Caleb and Ashlie got three cows last fall. It has been fun watching them (Caleb and Ashlie not the cows although the cows are fun to watch too). Caleb had them in a new pasture when I got home from my tour in May. He then bought a baler and he and his brother got Burton's old rake working and cut their first load of hay on Friday. This week Cale will head to another field , a field that holds lots of memories and attachment for us and cut hay there. Again a big deal for all of us. Zac used to get together a rag tag crew of friends, cousins and his two little brothers and while his father was away in Gagetown for the summer would cut and bale hay for the animals we had at the time. I used to help my Dad , grandfather and brother load hay . It was definitely a summer thing . I love seeing my boys caught up in the challenge of haying ;weather, equipment breakdown, lack of manpower to name just a few. For me the very practical endeavor of cutting grass to feed livestock during the winter is mixed up with so many emotions, lots of memory and pride. I am so thankful that Zac taught his little brothers so much in the short time he was given. I am so proud his brothers took to heart his teachings and his passion and will carry it on . Our farm is a family farm;a place of memory, of caring, of hard steady effort that means so much more than anyone can know . But Burton and I know and as we become the elders allowing the younger generation to take over (although I do not see them rushing to weed the gardens) we filled with pride when that topsy turvy load of hay was driven up our driveway.

Worry and Wonder

This entry came to me in the middle of the night and I should have gotten up and written it. We shall see what remains of it in the light of day. I had awoke from a dream where I was a young mother with two kids, my oldest child a girl and a younger boy. I do not remember any other details of the dream but when I woke up I laid there thinking what if I had not had Zac. He was my firstborn. I see young mothers so caught up with the wonder of their babies. It was just like that for me. He was a precious baby, a precious toddler, a delightful little boy, an amazing kid and a wonderful young man. We got to have him in our lives for twenty years. This all went through my sleepless brain and I began thinking about worry and wonder. What a mix of those two emotions is a mother's heart. I worry constantly but I do attempt to find the wonder in my life that helps me let the worry go. The wonder of a beautifully formed flower. The wonder of a sunset. The wonder of my granddaughter's smiles. The wonder of my daughter's sense of humor that keeps me laughing. The wonder of sitting across the supper table with the boy I fell in love with forty years ago. The wonder of seeing my two boys with the girls they fell in love with. The wonder of my granddogs zigzagging in excitement around our slow moving Biscuit. The wonder of my parents who still amaze me with their vitality. It was this list that I compiled as I laid awake. I could have made a worry list but I chose not to. I start this day with my focus on the wonder of the life I have been given and I will keep trying to let the worry go.

Ready for the Sun

Father's Day 2015 was a day of heavy , steady rain. I drove across the Saint John river to go to church with my Dad and out for lunch with my parents. Getting in and out of the car offered a good soaking. I came home and cooked a turkey dinner for the man who fathered my children , my brother in law Ronnie and my friend Paul, all fathers that deserve celebrating. As the rain fell we watched our garden sections fill up with streams of running water between the long rows, hoping that all our planting efforts were not being washed away. Today the rain has stopped and I wait anxiously for the sun to come out and dry the ground so I can hoe up the emerging green sprouts. I read this quote this morning 'Don't plant more garden than your wife can hoe'. I am sure it has deep meaning, but for me it has very literal application. I am the one that hoes. I love to tackle each row and as the daily growth of each row of beans, corn , peas, potatoes etc. advances I love to give each and every plant the attention and the time spent weeding and hoeing gives. But I do wonder this year if my dear husband and I have planted more than this girl can hoe. We shall see. I will give it my best once yesterday's rain soaks in and the sun comes out to dry the ground. I include a picture of a past garden that offers me the motivation and assurance that seeds that are planted will grow and the combination of rain and sun brings about a bountiful harvest.

Blossoms

The blossoms on my flowering crab tree were so beautiful a few days ago. I waited for them to come out and almost overnight they were a cascade of deep pink flowers. I had taken a few pictures and then the very next day when I thought to get a few more close ups of the blossoms they were gone with barely a trace of the display of the day before. I now have a vase of lilacs on my kitchen table and look out many times a day to enjoy the purple blossoms on the several lilac bushes in my yard. They too will be gone before I know it. I had one lone deep purple bearded Iris by the back steps and I tried to pay attention to it every time I walked by. It always reminds me of the year we had Chapin's grad party here after prom and entertained or should I say contained hundreds of kids. The morning after that event my clump of bearded irises were pretty much stomped and left as purple footprints on our back veranda. This morning I see several prom pictures on Facebook and along with my thoughts on the fleeting quality of blossoms it serves to make me a bit weepy and reflective. Last night I watched a movie where the family of four kids was the same configuration as mine would have been at one time. It brought me to tears. How quickly life happens . How fleeting one stage passes. I saw another post on Facebook this morning advising parents to pay attention to their small children as they grow up so fast. So overall this finds me typing this entry with tears running down my cheeks. I planted tiny seeds yesterday that I have the confidence ,based on my past experience, will result in plants that will bring about a harvest and die back down in the fall only to be ploughed up and return to the earth. The seasons, the cycle, the continuous evolution of life. None of it should be missed, none of it should be taken for granted. I will wipe my tears and take another day that I have been given. I hold the hope of blossoms to come as well as the memory of the beautiful blossoms I have been given.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

Well we have started. Our planting schedule has had weather delays but we finally got started yesterday. Despite a gusting wind that looked as if it was going to remove all of the top soil and relocate it, I planted all the beans and started planting the corn. Today, I finished planting the corn before the heavy rain started . Burton and Wayne got all the squash in as well. So I find myself in my office this afternoon instead of in the garden. Yesterday I visited a classroom at Lakefield Elementary School. They had just finished reading Ten Thousand Truths and The Year Mrs. Montague Cried. It was a pleasure to spend an hour with them as they asked some wonderful questions and shared their feelings about the stories and life. Kids never cease to amaze me with their compassion and insights. They were very interested in hearing about the sequel of Ten Thousand Truths. Parker asked me what my next book was going to be about. I told him I wasn't exactly sure but that it would come to me as I planted and looked after the garden in the next couple of months. Sure enough as I began sowing the bean seeds yesterday afternoon the seeds of my next book began taking shape. I ran in the house and up to my office to jot my thoughts down. The book I began in January but put aside to get to Shame the Devil pushed its way into my thoughts again and took on a whole new turn. Now I await the quiet hours in the garden so that I can let the story unfold until I find myself back in my office in September. During the summer I will steal some rainy hours like this afternoon and take a bit of time to touch my writing. I will read Shame the Devil one more time before sending it off to be read by someone else. I will make some notes for the book I see ahead of me. I will give some thought to two picture books I have percolating. I will let the summer come. I'll watch the seeds grow in the garden and in my imagination.