Weary in Well Doing

I am weary, tired,and worn out and the large snowflakes falling outside my office window seem a welcome reprieve.I will allow this day to be a down day, a resting day. Bright spring sunshine and warmth would possibly have had me present a bright sunny side and I am not sure I could have risen to that. So today I will let the weariness prevail. Why so weary I ask? As I went to bed last night I felt the overwhelming urge to sob. I feel a heavy worry for my Dad right now. He has entered the next stage of his life and it appears so different than all the stages that have preceded. He has always been a man of independence, take charge control and I have not been required to do much but show up.I don't like it. Here I am in the middle as I have stated before needing to be so many things to so many people. A mother always, a daughter more actively, a grandmother , a wife, a friend, an author. On weary days I want to be none of it. My muddled head this morning questions my ability to be anything to anyone.Burton and I had a great week with Meg, Cody and the girls. Possibly my jet lag lagged a bit and has hit me hard today. I slept in and now will take the gift of a long, hot bath. I expect my head will clear and I will rally. The energy for whatever well doing I do will return.Oh I do hope so but for right now I will allow the weariness to just be. No apologies , no guilt. I will put my oxygen mask on first so to speak and take long deep breaths.